Fetch

my golden retriever Tawny



Wants to take the ball to the park

So we walk in the cold and rain

With the bright orange and blue ball

And the “chuck-it” stick.

But the grass is too high, unmown

And marshy, hard to walk on

Easy to lose your ball

Even bright orange and blue balls.

The basketball court is free!

I sit on a bench facing the concrete court

And fling it, straight forward, bouncing

Into the grass beyond.

A perfect throw, and Tawny ran

45° to the right. Wait, what? No. Yes.

Losing sight of the ball she begins to

Search, right then left, at increasing distances 

At top clip, fast. Didn’t know she was that fast.

But she didn’t find the ball. Racing.

I got up and walked toward the ball.

She zigged and zagged and zigged again

I kept walking toward the visible ball

Then her zig brought her near 

The ball

She turned her head

And snapped it up.

Tail wagging she came back with me

To the bench, where she refused to 

Give it to me,

Teeth clenched

Cough

cough, cough, nose tingles, achoo!

Cough, cough, throat catches, ARRUGHE, spit.

Cough, cough, COUGH, nose running now,

Cough cough cough, can’t get flem…

Cough cough, cough, nose like a river,

Cough, cough, cough, ARRUGHIE, sneeze, spit

Shit, 

pollen attack, in a closed room

At 5:30 a.m., blow my nose, 3 times

Waste basket full of soggy snot filled tissues,

Sit up, cough, cough, ARRHGHE, spit 

Better now, just runny nose

And dry mouth.

ACHOO 

Open the back door

the best way into a house is not always the front door. I have never been to a farm house that didn’t welcome all guests through the back door into the kitchen with warmth and good smells.

The best way to my house is not always the most direct, down the highway through the heavy morning traffic, school zones and motorcycle policemen with radar guns.

The best way to talk to my children is not always confrontationally, hardly ever.

The best way to truth is not to look for it but to allow it to come to you.

The best way for me to understand and be myself is to shut up and dig deep into my self/body/soul/mind and see what’s there and let it out.

I only discover my true self when forced to rely on my own ingenuity, my insight and my intuition and by trusting it will do well.

I don’t get it by doing what I think you want me to do or to be or to act. I’m not you.

I’m becoming me.

Jeff

i realized recently that I had several friends named Jeff. These guys came to me unsolicited and we became close. Probably five or so.

So I named the Holy Spirit Jeff. I gave Him a name to personalize him and solidify a rather ethereal opion of him.

I have since read Billy Graham’s The Holy Spirit. In this book he spends a lot of time saying, and backing up with scripture, that The Holy Ghost/Spirit is a man, and/or a woman. So I named him/her Jeff.

This naming is important to me as a visual learner to see Him as a person, talk with Him, and see Him in action. We are close friends now.

I don’t mean to belittle Him in any way, but Jaweh, Jesus, and Jeff. OK?

Two rings

Deanne doesn’t like her rings that cling to her, but my rings are not like that.



This is my bear. He lives on my right hand, middle finger, the one I give when I give you the finger. I found him at the Red Cock (don’t you love the name?) import store in Lincoln City, Oregon maybe twenty years ago. When I put him on my finger he wouldn’t come off. So I kept him and he became an avatar for my Bear spirit guide. 

I’ve done more with bears since. I have a silver Hopi bear claw bracelet. I have a Hopi bear fetish tattoo. A former student that was a bear hunter gave me a bear claw I keep in my medicine bag and his huge fierce bear belt buckle that I’m wearing right now with my kilts.





In reading Native American mythology about bears, we are both raised by our mothers.

The other ring, my wedding ring, I found on the way to Jefferson High School in the middle of the intersection.



You see I had my matching wedding ring stolen while cleaning a sink trap in my science room when I taught at Adams High a few years before, so I thought karma brought me this one to replace it.



Mine used to look like this one which still lives on my wife’s hand.