Happy Bacterium

Yesterday I saw my dental hygienist, Lisa.
On Tuesday last we talked about music and
She knew who Leon Redbone was and liked him
(Because of an old, er former, boyfriend.)

But on Friday we (she) talked about writing, mine.
Every time I would try to tell her something, she would jump
like a mouse out of a rattlesnakes nest, SHAZAM.
She promised to read my Blog (Are you reading, Lisa?)

She has a job because I don’t floss, or brush, or pick my teeth.
As a result we will spend a total of four hours
Planing my roots. Scraping plaque off below the gum line.
After she squirts the foul tasting anesthetic on my gums.

I have promised her I would get the Water Pic to pressure wash
Between my teeth. She says show me the Proof of Purchase!
She is adamant.

She’s not the first dental hygienist to try to change
My poor flossing, brushing, picking habits.
I had to leave my beloved Tiffany in Portland when we moved.
Tiffany’s quest had been the same (is it true for all DH’s?)

The only person to really affect change in my mouth
Was Dr Mueller’s nurse. She showed me what my teeth
looked like with a hand mirror. I was shocked into action.
I’m a visual learner. All the talk goes in one ear and out the other.

Tiffany threatened to kick that girl’s ass at the next
Dental Hygienists conference (Which is why I don’t use her name here,)
Tiffany felt she had earned the honor to get me
to clean my mouth voluntarily. I mean she was really mad.

So do I explain this to Lisa or just enjoy our time together.
(I did go directly to Fred Meyer and bought a Water Pic.
I will show the receipt to Lisa on my next appointment.)

So look out Bacteria, here comes the water cannon.


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