Big and little

BIG Lloyd is Lloyd’s alter ego, his name is Floyd.

Little Lloyd is Lloyd’s inner child, his name is Red.

Floyd is spontaneous, garish, impetuous.

Red is shy, needy, lonesome.

Floyd sees the beautiful horse and thinks, I colored that horse, I could ride a horse like that to Andromeda and back. I could give my grandchildren a ride on a horse like that and they would laugh and play. 

Red would stay back from the beautiful horse so he wouldn’t get stepped on, or he wouldn’t scare the beautiful horse, or sit quietly and wait for the horse to come to him.

Floyd took the Minnesota Multifasia psychological exam. It asked him, do you feel tight bands around your head? Just the one, he said.

Red took the same battery of tests to see what was wrong with him. When asked about the tight bands he said, what bands? I just know that my head aches much of the time.

One day Floyd noticed Red hiding in the dark reaches of his psyche (it was at an ALANON meeting for adult children of alcoholics.) It was his inner child.

Red came slowly to him, embarrassed and shy and a little scared of the big guy. Floyd put Red high on his shoulders where he could feel big and tall. Red saw the world from Floyd’s perspective and became a little braver.

As Floyd carried Red around, Red talked softly in his ear. Hearing Red gave Floyd a new perspective and made Floyd a little more sensitive and empathetic to the little people.

Although they became fast friends that day, occasionally each forgot the other and reverted to past behaviors. But when that happened Lloyd would find a quiet place to sit and meditate.

I love you Floyd. I love you too, Red.


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