C.R.S.

I’ve bee diagnosed, again.

You don’t get diseases anymore, you get diagnosed.

My PCP, an internest with Kaiser in Portland,

said he was sorry to give me the diabetes, type 2, diagnosis a few years ago.

Like he gave me diabetes?

Anyway, I have had the diagnosis of vascular dementia, episodic memory, and mild cognitive impairment,

along with 52 other diagnosed conditions.

I’m 74, OK, I’ve accrued a few conditions along the way.

It’s not that I have just C.R.S (can’t remember shit)

It’s that i have difficulty with recall sometimes.

This is how I view memory (I’m vey visual)

  
Each word has its own cubby hole, but sometimes when I go to retrieve it,

The space is empty.

I may have just put the word in there, or it may have resided there for quite a while,

but today it is not available for  use.

If I wait patiently it may reoccur.

When it does I put another word in with it, one I can remember,

For instance, Caledonia.

I had several episodes wherein I couldn’t remember Caledonia.

So I put “California” in that empty space.

Now if I can’t remember Caledonia, I remember California, and that leads me to Caledonia.

(I used this trick just now to remember Caledonia)

I take the pill Namenda twice a day,

Arecept gave me nightmares and seized legs in the middle of the night,

and more recently the transdermal patch, Exelon.

But recent symptoms take my problem to another level.

Inability to multitask,

Distractability,

Poor impulse control,

Personality change,

poor driving habits,

forgetfulness,

Has caused the neurologist to tell me to turn in my driver’s license,sooner rather than later.

The cognitive imparement is getting worse and will continue to get worse.

My family has rallied about me for transportation.

My dear friend who was relying on my for transport is pissed,

She had just gotten used to more freedom and not has to find someone else.

I am not particularly upset by this turn of events.

I’m sure as time goes on and I can’t travel independently

I will get upset, but

for now it’s a new adventure.

I didn’t plan on reaching this age.

I didn’t plan for this.

It’s not my idea.

Wait, Dial a Bus is here.  I have  to go.

  
– Small Town Boy

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One thought on “C.R.S.

  1. Wow, thank you for your post. I am in amazement how aware of your condition you are, and the set backs it is causing you. Perhaps my MIL was the same way in the early stages, but I didn’t get to see those. I jumped right in, in the middle. Thank you for sharing your experience as it helps us see life through the eyes of a dementia patient. I am sorry you have to go through this, please take comfort in helping others through your struggle!

    Liked by 1 person

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