Learning to live as an old person

It’s not that hard; I just hadn’t planned on it.

When my mother-in-law lived with us, I chided her that she would get old if she kept taking the dozen or so pills from her Calendar pill box. She laughed and said that was funny and she would tell her doctor.

Now I’m 75 and taking many of the same pills from my am/pm SMTWTFS pill box that I refill once a week.

I know everyone talks about getting older, but I didn’t think it would happen to me. It’s not getting older that matters, it’s getting OLD that befuddles me, that and the diagnosis of vascular dementia.

The reason everyone talks about it, to no end, is there is so much to talk about.

Before you close this blog and move on, you need to know it’s you that I’m talking to.

No need to listen to this shit you say?

That’s what I thought.

Now I’m here and just need to give you a clue as to what happens; what we’re talking about; what we’re going through. It’s for your own good,  and to aid your respect for those of us who have gone before. It not only will help prepare you for the inevitable, it may elevate your level of respect for your elders?

So here the list:

  • Lots of medications, doctors,  clinics and diagnoses.
  • A need to get off your ass and walk the dog.
  • Building a new relationship with your spouse, who’s also getting old.
  • Knowing when you can ignore your spouse and blame it in ear wax.
  • Cleaning earwax out of your ears, cleaning nose hair and boogers out of your nose, and disposing of the diapers you use for incontenance (peeing your pants a little at a time).
  • Forgetting where you put anything, forgetting names; forgetting common words you just used; and forgetting to take your pills and to floss.
  • ….., uh where was I?
  • Weight and diet control, there isn’t any.
  • Cataract surgery is phenomenal. You won’t know what you were missing
  • And don’t try anything new or they will think you have mental problems; anything like nudism, thinking you’ve been bi all your life and you’re just finding out now or that you talk to God on a regular basis, or at least the Holy Ghost whom you’ve named Jeff so He isn’t so spooky.

Anyway, you get the idea. For practice try hanging out with someone who’s old.

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