What is sex?

Does it mean the same as gender?

Gender is which kind, yes?

Sex is what you do with it, no?

Is sex what you see in cable TV movies? What we used to call por n?

Are you offended by sex? Afraid? Excited? Addicted?

If you do it alone, is it still sex? Or is it just self flagellation?

Does sex sell cars? Clothes? Alchohol? 

When you have sex is it about love?

Or is a fuck just a fuck sometimes, as a young person recently explained to me 

Like taking a shit?

Is sex just procreation, as in arranged marriages?

Or as in young single mothers and men with multiple children from different women?

Is same sex sex? Is it better or worse? Without worries of procreation?

Do women make better lovers?

Is sex and love the same? Did I already ask that?

Sex sex sex…. Everything advertised is tainted with sex. Subliminal sex.

I think sex should be intentional, don’t you?

Whether you save it or give it away freely or sell it or buy it,

It is a great gift from God, so enjoy it as much as you can, soon you will no longer be able,

And then you may wonder what all the fuss was about?

Hold on to your memories.

Sex resides in you to be shared with others or enjoyed alone.
So be it. Let it be.

– Small town boy

PS, nudity is not sexual, though you can enjoy it naked, Yes?

PPS, DO PLANTS ‘have’ sex? Do fish? Rocks?



I was unaware of the problem until it was too late.

After flunking out of the University of Colorado twice in Chemical Engineerung,

I went on to Colorado State where I didn’t get into Vet school due to poor chemistry grades.

As children began to arrive in my family, I sought a new major that would count my science background, physical science, with emphasis on physics and math, and chemistry.

When I checked at the placement office I found the only job for that major was the FBI!

So I went into education and became a great chemistry teacher.

What had made me a poor chemistry student (slow thinking) made me a great chemistry teacher,

Which leads me back to reception.

When teaching I could take all the time I wanted for chemistry instruction; no need to quickly recall chemistry names and reactions and products.

This type of slow instruction was aided by writing on the (green) blackboard.

Writing on the blackboard provided time…

Time for feedback and consideration based on perceived reception by the students of what I was trying to teach them.

As I monitored their receptivity to my teaching,  I adjusted my teaching strategies accordingly.

Occasionally I got it wrong, as when my sixth period chem class at Jefferson High in Portland, OR began throwing spit wads at the blackboard when my back was turned.
I stormed at them only to find that they just were trying to make me smile.

Sixth period became my favorite period after that.

Just so in conversation or public speaking I monitor and adjust (as my friend LuAnn taught me).

I’m thinking while you’re talking.

According to my listening coach (see Contribution) this is a no-no.

Don’t think, just listen.

This is hard for me, but necessary, I guess, to hear you, Yes?

Do you find it difficult to talk to someone on the phone? Where you can’t see their reaction? Or texting.?

I think people who text (my children) don’t want to know how you are receiving their message.

I think we are passive receptors to messages all day (MSNBC and CNN).

I go back to my previous statement:

That conversation requires at least two participants.

If we are all to listen it’s like traffic at the stoplight that comes to a standstill as two people wait to make a left turn, neither trusting the other, waiting for a clear and signal that they truly mean to turn left, sometimes requiring two or more left turners to pass before you feel you can process.

See what I mean? Are you getting this? Am I saying it right?

We’ll see how you do on the pop quiz.

– Small town boy

A Contribution

I don’t listen well.

At church for three sundays in adult class

We have been learning to listen well.

Though I have trained others to listen,

I found myself unable to follow instructions.

Don’t race ahead in your mind preparing your next comment.

Keep your mind still and don’t speak.

Get into what the other is saying in a sincere mode.

Wait for the lesson, what you will learn from the ‘other.’

Humbug, I said.

Conversation is a two way street, I said.

It’s often competitive, say I.

Needless to say this wasn’t received well by the instructor.

And so I’m left with: where did that come from?

This morning, after meditation, I found it.

When I was young, I often heard, “Well, do you have something to contribute to the conversation?”

Or, “Do you have something to add?”

Or, “Don’t speak until you have something to say.”

As a consequence, when I am listening, I am saying to myself, “Do I have something to. Contribute to this conversation?”

And I race to add an anecdote from my files of life stories,

Just what my listening coach told me not to do.

My memory is slipping now, but even before, in my anxiousness to contribute,

I often interrupted or talked over my conversation companion,

To add my contribution.

Rude huh?

So the result of this coaching to be a better listener is:

That I listen to my grandchildren;

I listen to my wife (I don’t think she would agree here);

I listen to strangers and to friends.

I sit quietly waiting for the kernel,

That kernel that I will learn from, attention is required.

And I am attentive while listening, quieting my mind,

And respectful even if I don’t agree with you.

I still have my outbreaks, like this morning at fitness over Fifty,

Where I took advantage of the person on the machine next to me (twice) to unload,

About being a good listener and my need to make a contribution

To the conversation.

What do you think?

Go ahead, I’m listening.

-Small town boy