Puzzle pieces

My life is like a jigsaw puzzle.

I think I have all the pieces, 

Though I feel like some are missing.

My edge pieces, what you see, is mostly assembled.

There are dark places, or at least all gray,

Inside that I haven’t fully put together; I’m waiting till I get the shapes I know identified and then put together.

I really don’t have a picture on a box to go by in this.

I never thought I was trying to make a coherent picture of my life, till now.

Now I’m heavily involved in finding the right pieces that snap together to show the image that is my life.

I thought of this as I started my morning meditation.

I had to stop meditating because this idea about puzzles was racing through my mind,

Else I would forget what I was thinking.

Assembling the puzzle pieces places disparate events in juxtaposition.

Now I see how getting spanked then relates to spanking my children later in my life.

And how that prohibits me from doing it now.

Get the picture?

There is an unfinished corner area that is the rest of my life.

I have learned to step away from the puzzle table sometimes, so that, upon my return, I will immediately find that piece I had been hunting for the last half hour.

My pieces are comingled with pieces others have given me,

People willing to share what they see in me.

I cannot give up on this picture puzzle, it haunts me day and night.

Do you have anything to add?

– Small town boy

Acceptance

I learned the power of Acceptance in 2005 while I was working on Kausay Wasi Clinic in Coya, Peru.

I was there with twelve others from Portland, Oregon, on a construction mission sponsored by  Northwest Medical Teams, to change a prison into a medical center in the Sacred Valley of the Incas.

Sitting on a plastic five gallon bucket turned upside down, I was working on a wall socket that had been wired in series instead of in parallel, causing all to go out if one went out, like a Christmas tree light string.

As I listened to our hosts, Guido and Sandy Del Prado, discussing next year’s mission to continue this construction, I had an epiphany.

I could fund next year’s work.

I had fortuitously invested in Microsoft at it’s beginning and had the funds necessary.

As soon as I thought this I was struck with an overwhelming feeling of ? Of what? Of love? well-being? of I don’t know what, but it was powerful, emotional, and wonderfully frightening.

I was being loved and all my sins (?), past indiscretions, worries, guilt, negative energy, and more, were melted away by this feeling.

I was stunned. I felt of a sudden the power of love (acceptance). I felt good could  overcome evil, not because it was good, but because love is very, very strong. Strong enough that it could melt me with just a little more given to me then.

Love isn’t creamy and smooth. Love isn’t being starry eyed. Love is a very great, misunderstood power in the universe.

Like the mythological story of the wind and the sun trying to get the man to take off his coat (which sun won by warming him, doing what the wind could not by blustering). Love simply accepts you. I felt it. I felt it accept me.

I didn’t know I hadn’t felt accepted until this event happened.

I now knew what Acceptance was and that I had to accept myself.

I felt like a hot dog.

I felt like the bun, the relish, the catsup, the mustard, and the blemishes when stripped away and I felt accepted, allowed this glowing inner self to be revealed and seen and touched by me.

I hope you will feel this Acceptance one day. It seems more powerful than, but including, forgiveness.

Can you accept what I’m saying?

Can you see that you are accepted, no matter who you are, no matter what you have done or haven’t done?

And ultimately, can you accept yourself?

There is no need for forgiveness, just a need to understand.

You are accepted for who you are now.

You are loved more than you can know, because if you knew it would overwhelm you.

God is love. Love is power. Acceptance is how it manifests.

Peace.

-small town boy

 

I can’t love you anymore.

Damn auto correct.

I can’t love you any more .

I’m still learning to love you and I’m sharing as much as I know how.

Please God, help me to love you more.

My pastor says prayer is listening.

I’m listening, ok.

Alright, the tv news is on,

But I’m thinking about listening, Really.

(Please ignore any further Auto correct. Can I turn it off?)

Sometimes I’m so full of love it spills out over anyone nearby.

Sometimes I feel like I have barely enough for myself.

I know the more I give the more I have, but

I’m here at the beach, alone,

Listening for love.

Shhh, hear that?

No, it was nothing but the wind and the surf.

Or, was that you? Blowing me a kiss?

I love kisses.

– Small town boy

The Vote

January, 2017

Women hold about 20% of all elected offices in the nation, states, cities.

(http://www.cawp.rutgers.edu/current-numbers)

0 US Presidents

104 in US Congress (19.4%)

75 Governors (24%)

1832 in State Legislatures (24.8%)

Women in the US got the vote on 26 August, 1920 (My mother was 10)

Men lost the vote on 26 august, 2020 (100 years after women got the vote)

It all started on 21 January 2017, the Women’s March.

After three and a half years, men’s suffrage came to an end.

Men’s names were removed from voter’s rolls.

Men were no longer able to hold public office.

Men in the military were restricted to noncombat zones.

Men’s place was now in the home.

Washing dishes, keeping house, caring for children, gardening, etc.

Men were secluded during the nine months of pregnancy of their woman, and the days of menses.

Boys were required to finish the eighth grade only as they were deemed unable to do any more.

All legal documents were rewritten to be signed by women, including the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

The bible was rewritten from a woman’s point of view.

All books were rewritten telling of the heroic tales of women.

All teachers, administrators, professors were women.

All doctors, nurses, and medical support were women.

Professional sports were turned over to women.

All news anchors and all news women were women, and all talk shows on radio and TV.

All reality shows were about women.

All workers in car plants were women, and in airplane manufacturing too.

Only women drove big crew cab pickups. 

All CEO’s and millionaires and billionaires were women as women assumed their rightful role in business.

All priests, pastors, ministers, rabbis, and Islamic religious leaders were women. 

All philosophers, writers, gurus, and philanthropists were women.

Women held elections to replace men in public office.

Women replaced police officers, though fewer were needed.

Courtesy meant women held doors open for men, the weaker sex who were unable to govern themselves.

Men’s dress changed to emphasize their male beauty: backless gowns, short mini skirts, cod pieces.

And the same scene was repeated around the world,

As men stepped down, and women stepped up.

What did God think?

She smiled.


-small town boy

SEX

What is sex?

Does it mean the same as gender?

Gender is which kind, yes?

Sex is what you do with it, no?

Is sex what you see in cable TV movies? What we used to call por n?

Are you offended by sex? Afraid? Excited? Addicted?

If you do it alone, is it still sex? Or is it just self flagellation?

Does sex sell cars? Clothes? Alchohol? 

When you have sex is it about love?

Or is a fuck just a fuck sometimes, as a young person recently explained to me 

Like taking a shit?

Is sex just procreation, as in arranged marriages?

Or as in young single mothers and men with multiple children from different women?

Is same sex sex? Is it better or worse? Without worries of procreation?

Do women make better lovers?

Is sex and love the same? Did I already ask that?

Sex sex sex…. Everything advertised is tainted with sex. Subliminal sex.

I think sex should be intentional, don’t you?

Whether you save it or give it away freely or sell it or buy it,

It is a great gift from God, so enjoy it as much as you can, soon you will no longer be able,

And then you may wonder what all the fuss was about?

Hold on to your memories.

Sex resides in you to be shared with others or enjoyed alone.
So be it. Let it be.

– Small town boy

PS, nudity is not sexual, though you can enjoy it naked, Yes?

PPS, DO PLANTS ‘have’ sex? Do fish? Rocks?

Oh my God!

OMG is used too often these days in texts and facebook.

I have come to that place in my life where I must examine

What it means to me, what it wants of me, what I have to say about it.

If talking about God bothers you, stop here.

If you have the same quandry living in your head, continue.

God recently has been spending a lot of time with me, the Holy Spirit that is.

He has become real for me. I named him Jeff, presumptuous as that might be.

I start each day by saying hello and repeating the names on my prayer list.

Names of my family, names of those with disabilities, those with cancer, and the new lady at church last week (I told her I would keep her in my prayers.)

My prayers are more like conversations, “Good morning; how are. You today?”

And “I celebrate that I met my Greatgrandson yesterday. I ask that you watch over my cousin in Vietnam this week. How about them Cubs? ”

And then I open myself up to what He has planned for today.

I purge my mind, my heart, my body, and my spirit, clearing junk out like the new app on my new cell phone cleans junk out of its memory, so as to power up the work it must do.

Then I simply state that I am open to what the day brings, good and. bad.

All of this is a result of my spiritual path that is a result of my new church that encourages direct involvement instead of mediated involvement through someone else.

So He and I have figured this way of dealing with each other.

And I have to say I like it.

I’m only telling you this because it’s true, for me. Really, really true, as true as my sweet dog Tawny.

But you have to figure out your way. I suggest some alone time, prayer and meditation, but whatever works for you.

When you are ready.

He is ready.

He loves you, and I do too.

– Small town boy

I’m at a loss for words

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Where did all my words go?

I haven’t been using them, bit of a dry spell I’m afraid.

But someone has scared them, embarrassed them, misused them,

With lies, lies, lies pretending they are just hyperbole.

Apparently words are offended by this and are on strike.

They want to go back to a better time,

When a man’s word was his bond,

When my word meant something,

When, if I gave my word, you could depend on it.

Words left because everyone on cable news ‘spinned’ them

Any which way, each side’s surrogates spininning and spinning and spinning

Untill all the words got dizzy and lost their way.

Now where are they?

I think we need to  encourage  them a bit,

Use small simple words at first,

Like love, hope, and charity.

Then we can work up to larger words, if we treat them with  respect,

Like caring, sharing, and brotherhood.

See, my words are coming back,

They are right here for you  to know

that I love you.

I mean it.

You have my word.

-Small town boy


this was a gift of cupcakes from my muslim neighbors, whom I love.

My big Pumpkin

My big pumpkin jumped off the porch

And ran down the street,

Going door to door for Trick and Treat.

My Big Pumpkin is an orange pumpkin,

From the Safeway in the city,

Not a country bumpkin.

she rolls and rolls, dodging cars,

Laughing and shrieking into all the bars.

what is her fate? In a pie on my plate?

No, after making her a Jill-O-Lantern and scaring girls and boys,

Into the garden she’ll go,

To grow,

Into new and different golden pumpkins,

For next year.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

– Small town boy

 

What if they had a debate and no one came?

The last presidential debate is occurring in 2 1/2 hrs, but

What would happen if no one watched or listened?

How would anyone know of the wild accusations and aggressive posturing?

If the candidates debated but no one hear them, would it still be a debate?

And what would the cable news channels do? If no one watched or listened?

Would they shift to prison documentaries? Or cooking shows? Or 60’s TV?

And what would the sponsors do?  Would they still pay for commercials if no one was watching or listening?

If not, what would they do with their advertising budget? Sponsor stories about dogs? Horses? Martitians? Dolphins?

If the debates were not watched or listened to, what would the candidates do with the TV budget?

Would they run public affairs messages about gun violence? Poverty? Same sex marriage? Cannibis?

And what would happen in my house?

Wouldnt we sleep better, and await the ballots mailed out in Oregon?

If we voted, would the political ads cease?

What world am I living in?

Yours. Yours and mine.

We can stop this nonsense.

If we refused to be gawkers at the spectacle; if we don’t listen, or watch.

What if we prayed instead or talked to our neighbors?

Our muslim neighbors, or LGBT neighbors, or black neighbors, or republican or democratic neighbors.

What if?

What if this is all just a bad dream?

BUT it is real and you must vote. vote. Vote or else it will just go on and  on.

See you in the sauna.

I love you.

– Small town boy

Today’s Message

I believe the Holy Spirit sends me messages on the radio, in music.

Not always, but at critical times, if I’m paying attention.

Yesterday it was I’m addicted to love.

Today: You can’t always get what you want.


 

Both were timely and appropriate.
Please write me and tell me what music caught your attention this morning and whether you think there’s a message for you.

I should have known this since the call signs on my radio station are KLOO

– Small town boy